I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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