Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
