Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
her facebook's as public as her vagina
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
