Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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