p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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