Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
