i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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