If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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