then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize