Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He shit in the fireplace
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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