oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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