just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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