What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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