Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
