all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
