STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
