so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
