Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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