question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
