you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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