Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
