How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
