Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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