Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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