how can u be prego again
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
