ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
