if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I still have a little drunk in my system
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
