the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
