oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Found your dick twin last night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
