My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this boner is exhausting
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
