Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
