Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
