roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
