just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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