oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize