The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
