Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
