I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize