Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
