She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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