just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I AM VODKA MAN
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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