I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
