i think i have herpe
just one?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
