Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
