are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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