If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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