Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize