6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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