Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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