I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
