you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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