wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
