I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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