Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
