the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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