To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
