Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
