i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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