She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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