At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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