you guys were way drunker than both of me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
