I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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