he confused my yawn for an orgasm
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
