I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
