was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Boobs speak an international language.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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