Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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